It’s a Miracle!
Jesus, the Bible tells us, once turned water into wine. And now you can too. At least that’s the promise of The Miracle Machine, a home fermentation device whose inventors claim it can turn water into Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Sauvignon Blanc and more.
You don’t need to be the Son of God, all you need is $499 (for the machine), some water, a few simple ingredients (like yeast, grape concentrate and a “finishing powder” said to mimic the flavors of barrel aging), plus an iPhone app to monitor the progress of your own vinous “miracle” and three days. The result—supposedly—is wine that will rival bottles costing up to $20, all for the blessed cost of only $2.
How this happens, inventors Kevin Boyer and Philip Vine aren’t saying, though the Miracle Machine website states that the gourd-shaped device “uses an array of electrical sensors, transducers, heaters and pumps to provide a controlled environment for the primary and, as needed, secondary fermentation stages.”
No word yet on when and where the Miracle Machine will be sold, though the ingredients necessary to get your miracle up and running will reportedly be sold through Amazon.
Would you like some loaves and fishes with that?