Okay, so maybe it’s not quite what Grace Slick had in mind when she sang “White Rabbit,” but the health benefits of drinking moderate amounts of red wine have been pretty widely documented. It can lower the risk of heart disease and stroke, work against some kinds of cancer cells, help control high blood pressure, increase longevity and make members of the opposite sex drool at the very sight of you. (Well, the first three, anyway.)

And now researchers have found that a Mediterranean-style diet that includes regular glasses of red wine can delay the onset of Alzheimer’s disease and cognitive disfunction by up to seven-and-a-half years. The study was carried out by Chicago’s Rush University Medical Center, which tested almost 1,000 older Americans on what is called the “MIND” diet for various brain functions over a five-year period.

One pill may make you larger and one pill may make you small, but red wine can keep your brain working no matter what size you are. (Or what pills you’re taking.)

And while here in the U.S. red wine is helping to improve the function of your brain and heart and immune system, in China a rice-based spirit called “baijiu,” can improve the effectiveness of, ah. . . another body part.

According to the Food and Drug Administration of the Chinese region of Liuzhou, the makers of “Kung Fu Wine Pot of Gold” and “Liu Pa God Health Wine” have been goosing their concoctions with the chemical sildenafil, which we in this country know as Viagra.

No indication whether this news was put out as a warning or an advertisement but it does seem that the effects of a baijiu hangover could be pretty brutal. Not only would you get a headache, cottonmouth and dry heaves but a woody that would last all week.